Hello darling boy.
Well today is your 6 months anniversary and I have been looking forward to writing this letter to you. It is a very significant letter from mommy and daddy, coming to terms with where you are and where we are. As your mommy and daddy, we never get tired of talking about you and remembering every little detail of each moment that Father God gave us with you. It is our joy to share your story with others and tell what an amazing gift you have been to each of us. So here I am one again, a proud mommy, looking back at my very handsome little boy. Each photo makes me smile. Boyzie, you really are such a little cutie. Oh-so-serious with such wise little eyes. What wise things you have to teach us little love.
(That was your first peep at mommy. Melted my heart!)
(Daddy's favourite photo of his heart-peace baby boy.)
(Just too darling for words!)
As mommy and daddy are finding acceptance and peace in your story, Father God is teaching us that what was too-short a time frame for us, He will enlarge and expand. For the first time today, mommy found the words to explain to your little sisters, who miss you so much, just how special and important God's calling on your life has been. It may have been short, but it is radically impacting lives even today. When the pain threatens to be all too much, I let the Lord remind me of something the doctor told us the day before we drove home from Cape Town.
Dr. G. is a highly respected Doctor who is given the opportunity to lecture gynaecologists and is referred to deliver complex pregnancies. He was God picked for your delivery. At conferences where serious heart defects are explored, doctors are most often taught to highly recommend abortion to the parents. (Your PE doctor also told us about this). It is their understanding that this will save the parents so much pain, stress and exorbitant costs, especially as in a case as severe as what your heart was, where they all collaborated and expressed that no surgery would be able to save your life. Well my boy, this precious doctor sat across from us with tears in his eyes when we gave him a photo of you and expressed our thanks to him for being such a special part of our journey. He looked at your photo surrounded by your family and told us something that unveiled to us the impact of your life. He told us that whenever he would have to lecture other gynaecologists about heart defect cases, or walk alongside other parents with severe cases where the infant is expected to die, he would show your picture. He said he would tell of how precious your life was and how much love and joy was experienced even though it was only 22 hours. The whole team at your birth saw and experienced it. He said that what he had seen over your birth and death had showed him how very worth it your life had been, no matter how short the time was. It was nothing short of sacred and special. In fact, I still hear from your precious nicu nurse who cared for you right until the end. You forever touched her heart too. My boy, they all saw in that hospital how much love and joy was poured out because of the gift of your life. So sweet boy, if your mission was to impact a doctors heart who will now encourage other doctors and parents to take the risk to go full term and in the process be forever changed by the precious children God has entrusted them with, then my boy, your mission was so well fulfilled. You demonstrated that what God gives is absolutely life-bearing and heart-changing, even in death. The truth is that you are still leaving an impact.
You have the privilege of seeing it all now in full. On this side, we are still learning. Thank you precious love for being as brave as you were to give us each hour that you did. We are so much richer for it. When I look in your eyes, I see how you had your eyes already fixed on Jesus. He sustained you long enough to allow us to lavish you with all our love. I know that your heart knows full well how much we delight in you. On this 6 month milestone I am choosing to fix my eyes on my beautiful Jesus, just as you do, and draw my strength from Him and to praise Him for entrusting us with your life and story. My boy, your family is healing and allowing Jesus to fire up our hearts to make as big a difference with our long lives as you did with your short life.
This Mommy ...
This proud Daddy ...
And your beautiful big sisters ...
are forever thankful that we get to call you "son" and "brother". We rejoice that you are forever a part of our story and our lives. You have changed us for the better in so many ways. Today we are rejoicing over the gift of your beautiful life lived so well! We love you will all our hearts. Instead of tears, today there is a fire burning deep within us. A passion to love and live significant lives for the One who gives such good gifts. You are one of those good gifts my boy. We are forever thankful.
All our love,
Mommy and Daddy